love like no other

Today my big girl, Missy Moo is 18 months old. Yesterday her sister, my Little Miss, was 6 months old. Monkey Man is also 2 and a half. Where has the time gone? It honestly feels like yesterday I was dealing with another miscarriage and the painful terrifying, soul consuming thoughts that I might never be a Mum. My fears were unjust but when you're living it, you just don't believe anything else.  3 in 3 years was never the plan but hey, so far my big life plans have not gone to plan - thankfully they've turned out to be better than I could have ever planned.

There are aspects of motherhood that really get me down. For starters, the fact that women in general do not support each other when it comes to parenting. Everyone has an opinion and should be allowed to express that freely. Women should be able to birth, feed and raise their children how they see fit. All these stupid arguments about breastfeeding, where it's done, how old the child is, how showing your ability to breastfeed is putting formula feeding mums down? For fcuks sake!! Grow up everyone and just get on with your own life. Not everyone has a hidden agenda, and some are just sharing their lives & experiences with family and friends. Why does it impact other people so much? Who cares? I for one couldn't care less if you want to breastfeed or formula feed your child, if they have a dummy or not, when or how you toilet train them or whether you feed them vegies and lentils or nuggets and chips. It's your child and your life, live it how you feel apt. I would rather spend my energy worrying about the sleepless nights, teething, sick babies who can't tell you what's wrong, the frustration expressed through whinging and crying (this does my head in!!), food refusal, visits to emergency rooms and Drs surgeries, mummy guilt, the cost! These are definitely a few of my least favourite things and these occupy my thoughts much more than whether you can breastfeed or not.

Realistically the good things far outweigh the bad and I wouldn't change a single thing about my motherhood journey so far. Ok maybe I would have preferred to have an easier start but I didn't experience anything anywhere near as bad as other friends and family and for that I am always grateful. Everytime I feel sad about that part of my life, I just think how much worse it could have been. Bottom line there is ALWAYS someone worse off than you.

My favourite things about motherhood (just a few):

• watching my child demonstrate a new skill, even better if it's one I taught them
• seeing my baby's face light up in recognition, watching them follow you around the room with their eyes - not so great once they are mobile and literally follow you around the house haha
• being on the receiving end of a great big cuddle, ones that start with a run into your arms are the best
• hearing 'mummy' for the first time, less fun when it's said 150 times an hour but that passes
• seeing my children just blossom. 6 months ago we had a birthday party for Missy Moo and Monkey Man, and Missy Moo was scared, nervous and clung to Daddy the entire day. Yesterday at another party we held she was running about, high fiving people, cuddling people... totally different child
• realising that some things are just in you. Pre-kids I was shoe obsessed... addicted even. This had to change due to the loss of one income plus my 3 years spent pregnant and associated swelling so it's not something I have demonstrated to my kids yet. My 18mo Missy Moo LOVES shoes and will not do anything without shoes on, and they have to be selected by her. Nawww
• seeing my kids absolutely freak out and love chocolate (my vice) and love things like vegemite and fish, much to my husbands disgust!
• watching little people observe the world. So far my kids don't see colour, creed, head scarves, birth marks etc... to them everyone is the same. And if you're nice to them they will adore you back.
• seeing the bond my kids have with my Mum, it's much closer than anything she and I will ever share but in a way it brings us closer together
• feeling a love like no other. I love my husband and my family but the love you feel for your children really is a love like no other. I would do anything to protect them, anything. And it pains me to admit it but it really is true that you don't know until you experience it.

So many mothers feel the need to judge and comment on your choice. Why? If everyone just got on with the task at hand, there would be less hostility and more love... sometimes your friend needs you to just listen, not tell them what to do or what you would do. Just listen. And you never know, while you're listening you just might learn something.