love thy neighbour

As I hung washing out this morning, I heard some things... Here in suburbia you often hear your neighbours so this was nothing unusual however it was more what I heard. I heard a Mum, and I know she was a Mum due to what she said. Her kids who sound similar in age, if not a little older, than mine were playing in their backyard. Something happened, it was time for something, protests were made or fighting broke out because next thing you know its full on war. Kids are screaming and the Mum is yelling. She tried doing the count to xyz thing, failed. She took the toy/thing away, failed. She threatened bed, failed. She threatened no more xyz, failed. She threatened a smack, failed. She said no, failed. Everything she tried, failed and my heart sung! I'm not alone! I'm not the only one having these battles daily. Of course I'm not alone, mums all over the world face this battle all the time. Sometimes though it really seems to me that I am the only one dealing with naughty toddlers who will not listen to anything I say. They're defiant little buggers when they want to be! This shouldn't bother me should it? It does though, it infuriates me and I'll tell you why. If they ignore me now, what will it be like when they're older and bigger? I dare say Monkey Man will be bigger than both hubby and I. What am I going to do when they work out there is 3 of them and 1 of me? I'm also worried they will be smarter than me, which won't be difficult but its still not a nice thought. Basically I'm doomed.

I listened to my neighbour yelling and felt her pain. I first checked it wasn't actually me yelling, that I wasn't having an out of body experience during toddler tantrums, that I wasn't floating above listening to myself go mental. Once I established that no it wasn't me yelling, and nor was it my kids screaming. My kids were all in bed for a nap, praise the gods! I then pondered how could I track this Mum down? Should I go door knocking and say 'hey, were you the one I just heard yelling at your kids? Don't panic, I'm not gonna call DOCs. I'm the other crazy loony tune mum in the neighbourhood, you may have heard me yelling at my tribe on more than one occasion. Let's be friends!' ..... how would I react if someone knocked on my door and said this? Hmmm perhaps not a good idea, especially as then she'd know it was me who yells at my kids. She'd know who Monkey Man, Missy Moo and even Little Miss were, she'd dream their names due to hearing them so often. We'd do the polite nod when running into each other at the shops but I don't think we'd be friends. When my kids are older and go collecting for charity or selling cookies or something, she'll give them with a knowing look and say 'I used to listen to your nutjob mother, yelling at you to get down/get up, stop climbing/hitting/throwing, telling you not to eat bird poo or berries off the trees or worms and bugs from the ground, to get your feet out of your mouths, that yes clothes are required should you wish to bum shuffle along the deck and preferably not the brand new outfit she just paid top $$ for. Your Mum used to yell at you alot didn't she'.

Noooo I think for now I'll just enjoy the anonymity I have, and love my neighbour from a distance. I'll hear her yelling and feel better about myself, that I am not alone in this motherhood gig. And perhaps bring my tribe inside before I yell at them, once I've shut the back door of course.