what a week!

I can honestly say this week just gone was a shocker. I was tired, cranky, got my stupid periods and my kids have driven me nuts. I love them dearly but they are hard work and between the 5mo going through sleep regression/teething/hitting milestones/basically she's broken, and the fighting, screeching, biting(!??!), hitting, cranky toddlers... well it was a long week. If I wasn't so terrified of being alone with 3 under 3 and a hangover, I would have downed many a bottle of wine once 7pm bedtime was reached, every.single.night. I read an awesome blog post tonight about 'true confessions of a stay at home mum' and I really did relate to almost all the mummy quotes written. I really giggled at this one: At the end if the day, my needs are really simple: To be able to shit in peace. (Hallelujah) and nodded along, so so true and really an important daily requirement in order to maintain your sanity. Sadly it seems the more children I have, the less often this happens. If it's not a toddler wanting to come with you and look at your undies and/or poo, its another toddler who wants to bang on the door or unroll the loo roll, laughing hysterically, or the baby that cries when you leave the room - all part of the fun, remember my baby is broken right now. I go so far out of my way to avoid this fun that I've trained my body clock to do this daily function once they're all in bed for the night. Some things I just need to do alone.

I woke on Thursday with a nasty case of conjunctivitis, so now my looks matched my mood and I felt hungover, just for a bit of extra punishment! I was a mess, and that was WITH a nanna nap, which I never have. Perhaps that was the final straw for me? I shouldn't have had a nap? I preach that mums should grab a sleep when they can and everyone tells a new mum to sleep when the baby sleeps. Me personally I never have been able to, so on Thursday when I woke after 2.5 hours (!! wow!!) I felt worse than before I went to bed, nothing was achieved, the daily routine was shot to hell and my head was banging!! Kids up, life back to normal and when my husband messaged me to say he was on his way home I replied with 'thank god, I'm over today'... by the time he walked in the toddlers were screaming and fighting in the bath, ignoring me, my Little Miss was screaming in my arms from being overtired and hungry yet wouldn't feed for what felt like the 100th time that day. He walked in to me bawling, the kids all crying and I'm sure he wanted to walk back out and go straight to the pub. Thankfully he accepted the screaming baby I thrust into his arms and allowed me to go have a big cry in private. I still felt shitty, I felt that I was in this alone (I'm not) and that it wasn't fair. Hormones and exhaustion got to me, and I crumbled. Days like that I doubt my ability to cope with this stay at home mum gig and wonder if it's really worth it. Then I find out the yellow wiggle I loved, I mean my kids loved, is being replaced... and replaced by an older, uglier, creepy looking guy, well this was the icing on my already burnt and crusty cake. Listening to the wiggles over and over was made alot easier when Sam's voice was there, he was 20 years younger than the others and can actually sing and even dance. He's been shafted royally and I've read many blogs, articles etc on the subject. Mummies everywhere are pissed the good looking wiggle is gone, and the fallout over the way he's been treated is huge. Poor Sam, thinking about it all, I think he had a worse week than I did. Maybe I'll just put it down to a bad week and think positively for a better shot this week.