rocky shores

At the moment, we are simply existing. Whatever we're doing, I wouldn't call it living thats for sure. Life is hectic, crazily busy and down time is rare, oh so very rare. My hubby has been travelling alot for work, which just increases the pressure on me and when he's here he's got his head in his i-phone or his laptop most of the time. Work sux, I'm not feeling it and trying to work out if I can line something else up first or should I just resign. The last two wednesdays I have been phoned by daycare to come and collect sick kids - a different one each week. Apart from the sick kid factor, there is nothing I love more than paying for a full day at daycare, for 3 kids, while I'm at home not getting paid - the joys of contracting. Between work, kids, bills, family, friends, etc etc etc I am feeling pressure, oh so much pressure from every possible angle. I'm not enjoying this, this is not for me. This is not what I imagined married life to be.

A few years ago we went to I think 7 weddings in a year. With all the other stuff that goes with weddings, the engagement parties, hens parties, stag parties, kitchen teas, etc etc it felt like we were at something every weekend. Probably because we were, and why not? We were child and responsibility free and between concerts, races, parties, bbqs, we were together alot. When you get married, its all in front of you, so you think. I don't think anyone fully understands how children and life change your relationship.

Over the last couple of weeks two couple friends have announced their separation, and another friend told me she'd have left her husband years ago had it not been for their kids. This makes me sad and a few years back - pre marriage, pre kids, pre experience, I would have been on my soapbox, judging, tut tutting about how you could possibly let that happen to your relationship??? Now, I totally get it. I understand how you can drift apart from your partner. Life gets in the way. Life happens.

I asked some friends when was the last time they had couple time, went on a date and most responded that it had been so long they couldn't remember. Like me, they feel guilty for asking others to watch their kids. They worry about splurging on a date night when money is tight and bills are due. Sleep becomes more important than a big night out especially when dealing with children that wake overnight and start the day at stupid AM. Responsibility and life gets in the way of fun and relationships. No one tells you this when you say you're getting married and planning a family. It was reassuring to know I'm not alone, that other wives feel this way and that other relationships go through this.

But,  its time for change, time to make an effort. We have a date night locked in for this weekend, mum is booked to watch our kids for us and we're off for a meal out. A few hours of us time, with no kids, no tantys, no chicken nuggets, no fighting and no sharing - although if he gets a better dessert than me then I am all over that! It's been a while, like 7 months a while which is a tad embarrassing to admit but its been a while since we went on a date. We went to a wedding in that time but that was March so yep its been a while. I might even shave my legs. Maybe, just maybe we will have our next date before the year is out? 3 a year with 3 under 4? Lets go crazy!! Its definitely time to make an effort.

As with sleepless nights, crying babies, fighting toddlers, this too shall pass. . . right??

When was the last time you had some couple time? Made an effort? Shaved your legs?


xx