Freedom, just for a day

This week TFF (toddler free friday) becomes, and will be from here on in, CFF (child free friday). Yes my littlest monkey is joining her big brother and sister at daycare. Originally I wasn't going to send her til she was one but given how insane I feel some days, I think I need a break. If I'm honest, I'm a tad excited about a day to myself.

I have moments of feeling guilty about this, selfish and to be honest, like a bit of a failure. I mean our mothers coped at home with multiple children and didn't work for years, why can't I? Why can't I be happy being a SAHM (stay at home mum)? I think maybe because I've had a taste of both lives, I know what its like to work, I know what its like to be a working mum and I know what its like to be a stay at home mum. All have pros and cons but it really is such a personal choice, and I'm lucky enough that it is a choice for me. I don't HAVE to work, nor do I HAVE to stay at home. The choice of 3 kids in fulltime daycare is not for me. A) I don't earn enough to cover the costs and B) I don't want my kids in fulltime daycare. I want to raise them myself. Luckily my husband supports my choices completely, at the end of the day I need to be happy as a happy mum means happy kids. I consider myself lucky to live in a time when we have choices.

Anyway, when I decided to return to work part time I put Little Miss on a waitlist at daycare as they were full. I'm still wanting to go back to work but for the right job, not just any old job. And part time roles are hard to come by. I figured I would just wait for the right job and sort out childcare when it became necessary. A couple of weeks back, daycare called and said they had one spot left in the baby room for Little Miss and a few people had shown interest in it. I get first right of refusal but if someone else wants the spot I might have to make the decision sooner rather than later. Ok, well if thats the case, sign her up. Maybe having one day to myself is all I need? Maybe I won't need or want to go back to work if the day break is all I need? Only one way to find out right?

Of course it falls on the week before payday so funds are a little tight but I still plan to spoil myself with a movie, all by myself! I've never gone alone. Is that sad or embarassing? Bit of both I suspect. No idea what to see but I will bloody well enjoy it. I'll also run a few errands but other than that, I'm hoping to just relax. I have this grand plan that I will use every Friday to run errands, grocery shop, go to drs appts, clean the house etc but one Friday per month I intend to make the day just about me. Even if that means just a pedicure with a hot chocolate and a trash magazine, well bring it on! A day of no nappy changes, no sleep times, no feeding little people or sharing my food with them, no tantrums or screaming, no fighting, no toy throwing, oh seriously, it sounds just awesome to me. The option to get back into my PJs after daycare drop off and crawl back into bed for a few hours..... sounds like absolute bloody heaven to me....

It will be nice to feel less of this:

and a bit more of this:

Don't judge!!



xx