Working Girl

Over the last little while I've been talking (alot) about me and what I need. Do I need to work, do I need to study, do I need to volunteer, what do I need to escape my brain and feel useful. I adore my children and think I'm alright at the whole stay at home mum thing but I need more. But I'm completely selfish and I need more. I just need more. I don't really know what I need. You can read more about my issues (said through tightly pursed lips ala Kath n Kim) here and here and here. Told you I talked about this alot.

So, when I last talked about this whole saga I'd been offered a position and salary negotiations had commenced. I was a bit nervous asking for more cash but decided to adopt a 'don't ask, don't get' approach. I think I even said that to the HR rep, oops! I've since accepted the job despite the fact they wouldn't/couldn't give me any more cash. I've managed to secure 3 spots at daycare, on the same days - unbelieeevable (I hear Charlie Bear when I say that, do you?) and I've bought myself a few clothes for work as all of my work stuff is now too big. I bought a skirt in size small and tops and a dress in 3 sizes smaller than what I was wearing in Feb this year. Again, unbelieeeeevable!! Note, I'm still in plus sizes but meh, not for much longer woohoo! Thats another blog post altogether though.

Two weeks from today I will officially be a working girl again. I will be a working mum. I've been here before although I had two kids at that stage, not three and I managed full time work along with pregnancy. This time around we have three kids and I'll only be working part time so the rules have changed slightly. My feelings are the same though, I'm nervous, scared, excited and totally overwhelmed with thinking about daycare drop off, what happens when they ring me with a sick child, the fact that childcare fees will most likely leave our bank account before any paychecks go into it, the commute to work, what I'm going to wear, will I manage in heels all day after near on 3 years in flats, can I fit in a blow dry before I start - do I need a blow dry, do I need a new bag, will I be able to manage and complete a full day of brain use, will I cope without ABC2,  how much am I going to miss my kids, how much damage am I causing them by selfishly needing more, daycare pick-up, dinner, bath, bed. . . . annnnnnd doing it all again the next day.

Holy mother of gawd, what have I gotten myself into?

xx