Monday, 17 June 2013

wet weather

Another day, another adventure for my 3 little monkeys - this time to the library. I try to take the kids to the library at least once a month. We often attend story time and I shake my head in embarrassment as my kids hurtle around the library shouting at the top of their lungs while all the other kids sit quietly and listen to the story or participate nicely in song time. Why is that my kids seem to be the only ones misbehaving, every single bloody time?

I try to encourage reading and book love. I am a book worm and believe it's important for kids to be into books. I remember as a child I would say I was going to bed and wait til everyone else was in bed before shutting my door and turning the lamp on to read 'just one more chapter'... hours and chapters later it was be stupid AM and I'd be buzzing from finishing a great book but heading to school exhausted. I look forward to the day when my kids love books for more than their use as a weapon or for how quickly they can hurl them off the shelves. or at each other. I fear I may be waiting a while.

All 3 are at a stage where they want to walk rather than be in the pram which is great fun. I'm constantly chasing them out of shops, off fixtures and out from under furniture. If they're not dragging their feet and slowly walking behind me, they're racing off on me. Do the maths. 3 of them, one of me. My chances of catching them before they pull all the apples off the stand, or before they knock down that table of nicely folded jumpers, well they're slim to none. Heading out at the moment with all three is stressful and blood hard work.

We went to a couple of shops before we tackled the library which was probably mistake number 1. Quite simply, my three can only handle one activity or outing per day. Two birthday parties in a day? Forget about it! Going from one shopping centre to another? Not a chance in hell. Two lots of visitors in one day? Are you freaking mad? We should have gone straight to the library as we normally do but I mistakenly thought maybe today would be different? After chasing them out of a department store, listening to screaming tantrums as I wouldn't let them have every single toy they saw or every bloody chocolate or lollipop they wanted I was feeling very flustered. I decided it was time for a donut break. Mistake number 2. Should have withheld the donut and milkshake offering until after good behaviour was demonstrated or at least until we'd completed our errands. Milkshake was spilt everywhere, donut sprinkles and icing were in places I didn't think possible, and somehow Little Miss managed to sit on and smoosh donut all over her bum.

Off we went to the library with all three on a sugar high. It was technically sleeptime for the girls so I believe by now they were delirious. Mistake number 3. Attempting to go out ANYWHERE at sleeptime is bloody suicide. All 3 ran around the library like wild animals. There was a trail of books everywhere they went and shrieks of laughter mixed in with brawling screams as one snatched a book from another. To all the uni students there trying to study for upcoming exams, well, I apologise for my children profusely. I chose their books for the month as they clearly weren't interested and tried everything to get them to calm down. I was getting close to a meltdown so decided it was time to admit defeat and head home.

Monkey Man decided, of course, that he needed the loo. We borrowed our books quickly and headed into the disabled public toilet - the only one that would fit the pram plus 4 of us. He did his thing. Missy Moo was attempting her turn but needed help with her jeans so I was helping her while telling them not to touch anything. Public toilets are grose, for real, like for really real. It was at this moment that a normal outing for us became, well more normal. . . .

Little Miss turned the shower on, hard. on Missy Moo and I.

In seconds she was soaked through, my jeans were wet and the entire bathroom was flooded. It was a freezing cold, rainy day outside and we both looked like we'd been standing in said rain for hours. Missy Moo screamed for ages. Little Miss got screamed at locked in the pram quicksmart - safe from temptation and naughty choices. She screamed alot. Monkey Man kept telling her she was a naughty girl and she had to stay in the pram now. She screamed some more. Missy Moo kept screaming at me that she was 'weeeetttttttttt' as if I'd somehow missed it. I used paper towel to try and dry her off. I put Monkey Man's hoodie - a size too big but dry - on her and put the newly purchased batman hoodie on him. I'm surprised no one called the cops on us given how much noise would have been coming from that public toilet. He then ran through the shopping centre with his hoodie zipped up over his face, 'kapowing' everyone he saw and jumping over every crack in the footpath. Missy Moo cried that she was wet. Little Miss kept crying and screeching that she wanted out of the pram.

Another day, another scene. When does it get easier?

Oh and in case you were wondering, Monkey Man's hoodie has a zip up face mask thing on it, so he was fully masked while he zoomed through the shops as I pushed two screaming girls behind in the pram. sigh, where was my frigging batman mask??



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