Sunday, 24 June 2012

passing the baton

Today I taught my almost 3 year old son how to do the 'Burger Ring hand' . . . it was his first time ever having Burger Rings, and thus his first time ever doing the Burger Ring hand. . .  it was a truly special moment between mother and son, and he mastered it first time. I couldn't be prouder!!

When I was a kid Burger Ring chips were very popular. There were lots of play ground rituals around Burger Rings - you wanted to get a pack with lots of chips full of flavouring, so full there was no hole in the middle and you ate the entire pack by doing the 'Burger Ring hand' where you put a ring on each finger and then ate them off your hand. You then had to lick the flavouring off your hands. mmmm good times! And my boy, he took to it like a duck to water.

I have lots of good memories from my childhood, and funnily enough alot of them are food related. I can't wait to introduce my kids to Paddlepops, Dixie Cups, Push Pops, Samboys, Spider Cokes, etc. They already love the smurfs and I've got Cabbage Patch Dolls on the birthday list - they're called Vintage now. Care Bears and My Little Pony have been modernised but I'm hoping at least my girls are into them. If you remember any of this stuff then you're a child of the 80's like me - sing it proud, the 80's rocked!!

Anyone else planning on introducing their childhood to their children?

Saturday, 23 June 2012

liar, liar, pants on fire

I think people talk shit and alot of it. Honestly, they do. Some just like the sound of their own voice, others just talk so much shit they start to believe their crap and before you know it, they believe their own lies. What I don't understand is why. I'm a pretty honest person, I've long been the person who says what you're thinking and just don't have the balls to say. Note: I'm working on my foot in mouth disease and I try to think before I speak but I still have the thoughts, and you know, well its a work in progress.

Call my cynical but I just don't think people, on the whole, are honest and certainly not in public. I recently witnessed a discussion over a child being left alone in the car. Everyone came out with their 2c worth, about how they NEVER leave their kids in the car, its illegal, what about the children, waah waaaaaaah waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! Bullshit!! Liars the lot of em! Ok well maybe not all of them. I refuse to believe that no one ever leaves their kids in the car. Someone tried to say they don't even leave their kids in the car when they stop at a friends place to drop something off. They get their kids out while they stand on the door step and chat for 5 mins? Come on! Pull the other one. The main cause of contention was petrol stations. What do you do with the kids when you have to pay? For me personally, with three under three it is not practical (for anyone involved) to take my kids into a petrol station to pay. I avoid filling the car up when I'm on my own with the kids, and only do it when absolutely necessary. Of course I don't want to leave them alone in the car if I don't have to. Yes I worry some psycho will choose my car to steal, though I reckon as soon as they got in the car they'd get back out and run in fear. Yes I worry my car will be crashed into. But mostly I worry about how I will cope while they all scream at me while I'm filling the car. It's all about me you know? The thought of getting them out of the car, yelling at Monkey Man to stay by me, at Missy Moo telling her to stop pulling at the petrol bowser, trying to get them both to walk with me without getting run over, trying to pay without buying 55 chocolates and lollies, trying to stop them both from pulling everything off the shelves, climbing into freezers and fridges, and don't even start me on how I would deal with 2x throw down tantys with a baby in arms?? Getting back to the car would no doubt be more eventful and stressful, and then I'd have to deal with death stares from other drivers waiting for my petrol bowser. No, no way in hell I would take them into a petrol station. Ever.

Today I saw another dicussion about how a bill from a restaurant was wrong, they'd been undercharged so should they own up or run for it? Soooooo many people were all high and mighty about how of course you should own up, its the right thing to do, tell the truth, blah blah blah! Do these people go back and tell a check out chick 'oh sorry, you undercharged me for that chicken, you didn't charge me for the three bottles of milk I bought'? No I can guarantee they do not.

And while I'm at it... what is up with the parenting comments? Someone posts a pic of their kid eating a donut or having a milkshake or a chicken nugget and they pre-empt the negative feedback by pointing out that its a really rare, once off, occasional treat. It just screams 'don't judge me'... A picture of their child having medicine or in a seemingly dangerous situation and everyone has an opinion. Why!! Lighten up already!

Is everyone really that honest, that perfect? I think not. If they were there would be alot less crimes in the world. We all make mistakes and surely this whole parenting gig is a series of mistakes? We learn as we go.

Why not just tell the truth? Why does everyone feel they need to be all 'do the right thing' in public? Would the answer they give be different if it was a one on one discussion? Would they say the opposite, a more truthful answer if their friends, family, parents even, couldn't see/hear their response? Meh, man up people! Tell it how it is, and if people don't like it than I dare say its probably closer to their own version of the truth, not that they'd ever admit it. And if a picture of a kid eating a chicken nugget is so offensive, perhaps reconsider who's on your friend list.

Friday, 22 June 2012

so just how crap do I look?

This morning when I dropped the kids at daycare, 4 out of the 6 teachers there made comments on my appearance. I was asked if I was going out today, told I looked nice etc etc. The compliments were lovely but it made me realise just how crap I must look when I drop them off normally. I was going to work, and its casual Friday so I have jeans, ballet flats and a top/cardy combo thing on - nothing special but I guess the main difference is my hair is done (aka brushed and down, not piled on top of my head) and I have make up on.

This is me right now:
scuse the bathroom pic hahaha

A few weeks ago I had my hair coloured and cut. I was going to a funeral in the afternoon, so I was dressed, and again had some make up on. Note I wasn't getting my hair done to go to a funeral, just worked out that way. The hair dresser commented that 'I looked different, better'... She kept going on; 'had I lost weight or changed my hair colour?' She couldn't work out why I looked so different. Basically she had verbal foot in mouth and everything she said made it worse, the whole conversation had me feeling very dowdy and ugly by the end of it. I finally said 'its because I have make up on', somewhat under my breath and with an exasperated sigh yet the reversed/backhanded compliments kept coming? Seriously, don't you just want to tell people to shut up sometimes!! Stop talking woman! I clearly look like crap when I come in here but you know what, I'm not trying to impress anyone, I am trying to get a task done in a short space of time so lets just get on with it.

I suppose I've realised just how daggy I've become, I've let myself go. GASP!! Back in the day, pre-kids of course, I used to paint my nails every Sunday night. I couldn't stand for chipped nail polish and would once upon a time sneak out of work for a 'meeting' which meant a quick pedicure at my local nail shop. In hindsight, how I thought no one would notice was rather stupid seeing as I'd have to come back to the office wearing thongs?? No one cared though. I used to get my hair blowdried once a week - not because I did but because we had social things on every weekend and I never went to a social event without my hair blow dried. I would never have left the house in track pants or leggings. I would never have worn ugg boots. I brushed my hair every day. I never went to work without make-up on, even if it was only foundation, mascara and lip gloss.

How times have changed. These days I'm lucky to get a quick shower, pile my hair on top of my head, moisturise my face, throw on something functional and practical and go. Staying at home grants me this option and like I said before, I'm not really about impressing people. If we're going somewhere I might brush my hair and pull it back, put some foundation, mascara and lip gloss on but that's as far as I get, and that's normally done with 3 little people hanging off my leg, opening every product in my make-up bag, asking whats this, pouring $40 foundation and loose powder all over the table. Honestly, is it worth it??

Life is busy, life with little kids is busier and messier than I ever imagined it being. Clothes are covered in snot, dribble, food and drink within minutes so why would I bother with something expensive and impractical? I dress the kids in practical and functional stuff so why wouldn't I do the same for me? And I don't see the point in dressing up to drop the kids at daycare or pop out for a loaf of bread - that's just more washing for me in the end!! Besides, at a couple of shopping centres near me, I reckon I could go there in my PJs and no bra and still look better than some of the ferals there!

Don't get me wrong, its fun to dress up and make the effort occasionally but I'm all about doing what I need to, when I need to and saving my energy otherwise.    

How crap do you look when you're at home? Do you dress up for the daycare or school drop off? Do YOU leave the house in ugg boots? Am I the only one to only wash my hair once a week, and sometimes that's a push!


you take a photo

A few weeks back I got a new toy, and while I still have so much to learn on it, I am seriously enjoying my DSLR. My kids have even started telling me 'you take a photo' and commencing a series of poses straight after... they only stand still for a millisecond and then want to 'see, see!!' the photo so I have to be quick! I'm on the eternal search for the perfect photo of the 3 of them together, you know - the Mum's holy grail: where they all look at the camera, at the same time, and smile at the same time with no stupid faces, tongue poking, crazy hair in sight. The more kids I have, the more unachievable this challenge seems to be. Me thinks it's gonna be a long search for this photo.

So when Monkey Man tells me to 'take a photo' I do. These are the lessons I learnt:

1. taking a shot of Monkey Man and Missy Moo teaching Little Miss how to crawl (which she finally did for the first time today!!) looks like they're attacking me. Because they are!

2. Monkey Man never fails to find an awkward and weird position to get into - toddlers are bendy!

3. My children are extremely loving towards each other and 'cuddle' alot - when they're not fighting like animals

4. It's really hard to take a decent 'selfy' with my new toy - add a wriggly baby to the shot and its near impossible

5. Missy Moo is a poser - hello $$ in my future! Little Miss likes to see your face so you've gotta line up the shot and then pop out to 'see' her in order to get a smile and Monkey Man needs to work on his 'cheese' face

6. Little Miss is fast becoming not so little *sad face*

7. Monkey Man is almost 3 but still has those chubby toddler hands going on, nawwww

8. Missy Moo has THE BEST SMILE

9. Little Miss is rather fond of her toes

10. trying out the self timer mode on the camera is fun, but totally hilarious when your almost 3yo drops a big fart and falls over laughing!!

Thursday, 21 June 2012

me vs the toy sales

These toy sales are bloody crazy. The retailers are trying to be all clever and move alot of it online - of course they've underestimated the demand and their websites are crashing left right and centre. People are abusing the retailers on their facebook pages, in store, over the phone. People are crazy!

In previous years the stores have opened at midnight and its been a trolley dash, with crazy women in packs throwing toys into trolleys, pushing, shoving, splitting up with one joining the check out queue while another joins the lay-by queue and a third charges around the shop grabbing toys like a madman. This was NOT my scene and I avoided it, completely. I also wondered what the fcuk was wrong with people willing to participate in such madness. I was not going out at midnight for anyone! How bloody stupid!

This year they put alot of it online, and I was tempted, maybe even slightly interested annnnd then they introduced a VIP sale. Oh you know I had to get in on that!! So I got the kids to bed and off I went to the VIP sale and whilst it was busy it wasn't out of control. There was alot of staff, and alot of customers but it seemed quite calm. Then I saw the longest lay-by queue ever. I had been in the store for a while, had a loaded trolley and was determined to see it through to the end. I've always been stubborn. So I joined that queue and there I stood. I was rammed by trolleys, I was talked over as it appears I was in between two women that knew each other, I had dinosaurs and lego fall on me from surrounding trolleys. The queue split into 3 and of course I joined the slowest queue. And.there.I.stood! And fcuking stood! I was foot sore, hungry, and completely over it. I couldn't tell you how long I stood there for but it felt like forever. People around me had whinging crying kids with them, one had a brand new baby asleep in her arms and was pushing a loaded trolley with her finger tips - I suspect she is responsible for the dinosaur smashing my ankle but you know, she was doing the best she could.

I came home and had some dinner at 9.30 at night, while I whinged to my hubby about the crazy women I'd just been with. Lucky for him he chose to politely not point out that I was indeed one of said crazy women. He's a keeper. In true nut case form, I then stayed up and counted down the minutes til the online sale started at midnight. What the fcuk is wrong with me? Of course, they had technical issues and it didn't come online at 12. I decided to give it some more time, and waited. and waited. After hitting the refresh button a million times (told you I was stubborn), I gave up just before 1am. What a bloody idiot I am, seriously.

Definitely not how I imagined spending my Wednesday night, or any other night for that matter. I'm exhausted. I gave up sleep I desperately needed. For toys we have too many of. On a website that still wasn't working at 7am this morning. Fcuk!! Thankfully my kids slept til 6.30 which pre-kids is equivalent to a 10am sleep in, you know? So I stayed up and didnt get my christmas toys so I'm a cranky bitch today. The kids won't co-operate, they've trashed the joint, spilt milk and water all over the place, I had 3 poop situations to deal with - one after the other. Blurgh! I want a do-over, I want to start today again!

Tuesday, 19 June 2012

the voices in my head

Have you ever listened to yourself? Heard what you say to your kids? The way you say it AND what you actually say? Today I've made a conscious effort to actually listen to what I say - note, I've not thought about it before I've said it but you know, just tried to hear the things I say... this has been my day today (in no particular order):
  • get your hand out of your pants
  • yes your bits are still there, I don't need to see them and you don't need to show them to us
  • get down off the book shelf
  • get out of the toy box
  • get out of the pantry
  • sandwiches do not need to be rubbed into your hair
  • sandwiches will not fit in, nor do they go in the DVD player
  • if you throw yourself over the lounge, it WILL hurt
  • stop hitting
  • give it back
  • dont take it
  • dont do it
  • is your willy pointing down?
  • pull your undies up before trying to pull your pants up
  • no undies dont go on your head
  • no undies dont go on my head
  • get off the arm of the lounge
  • no you cant have easter egg for breakfast
  • because I said so
  • because I said so, thats why
  • when you earn some money you can choose what food we buy
  • give the baby back her cup/cheese/book/ball
  • if you hate being on your tummy so much why do you keep getting down there?
  • dont pull hair
  • can we pack up some toys before getting more out?
  • sit on the wall
  • no you can't have a bottle as you're almost 3
  • right, everyone has food and drink, mummy is going for a wee. Dont call me, I'll call you.
  • why would you bite your own finger?
  • for some reason you chose not to sleep, and now we all suffer....
Alot of this was yelled, or at the very least said with a raised voice. Some with absolute hysteria - I'll leave it upto you to decide which was which. I'm pretty over today. Sometimes I have to really scream to get a response or at least a pause in behaviour. Sometimes there is no choice - like when the kid is running into traffic!

I'm really looking forward to life adjusting, to everyone getting used to the new norm for us which includes work and daycare. I'm actually considering doing this challenge as I'm over yelling, I just want a peaceful existence. Being perfectly realistic, they dont really listen to me anyway so why do I bother? Or maybe the point is I'm not loud enough? I might just invest in a megaphone to save losing my voice from yelling?

 Anyone else yelling alot, or am I alone?

Sunday, 17 June 2012

first day nerves

Hectic is how I would describe life right now. I know, I know, life is busy and if it wasn't it would be boring right but things are freaking crazy here. Tomorrow I start work. Right now I'm in the midst of packing daycare bags, making lunch for myself, working out what to wear (big decision!), thinking about the toy sales, party planning, thinking of all I need to achieve this week, trying to write a blog post which I just can't get to work, worrying about my kids at daycare, hoping Little Miss isn't getting sick as she's been a little off this weekend, worrying about a cold sore I can feel brewing (hello I have to have an ID photo taken, blurgh!), the hubby has man flu, I'm trying to pack my Mums house/life up (thats another post altogether), worried about spending all weekend fulfilling my daughterly obligations but negecting my own family. Crap! It's all CRAP! . . .  I'm anxious, stressed, excited, worried, tired, can't sleep, anxious, nervous, anxious, did I mention anxious!! Argh, I'll be glad when tomorrow is over . . .

Saturday, 16 June 2012

the all important first birthday

I'm in the midst of planning a birthday party for my Little Miss, the all important first birthday. A friend is also about to celebrate her sons first birthday, unfortunately her baby is with the angels.

Avery Fox Charles Tatton was born on the 14th of July 2011, a few weeks before my Little Miss. Avery was perfect, he was full term, he was beautiful and he was sleeping. His passing shook his family to the core. His story continues to touch so many, told through his mothers tears and struggles. His mother, Kristie, is one of the most amazing people I've been lucky enough to know. Her strength and courage are nothing short of amazing. Her determination to bring the subject of stillbirth to the forefront, speaking so openly about her loss, honestly she is a hero in my eyes. Faced with the same devastation, I really don't think I could go on the way she has.

Avery would have been one in a few weeks. He should be smashing a cake and smiling a big cheesy grin with his first teeth poking through. He may have been attempting his first steps.

His family deserve to receive some special birthday mail. If you can spare a few dollars, a moment of your time, please send Avery a birthday card. A tiny gesture that would mean so SO much to his mum, dad and big sister Tara who at 5 and a half has dealt with way more than any child should have to. All the details on where to send your card can be found on the below link.

You can read more about Avery, his mumma, and their journey here. I promise you won't be the same after reading about Avery. You will hug your babies a little tighter and appreciate what you've got.

Friday, 15 June 2012

The last CFF

Today was my last CFF (child free Friday) and I'm a little sad about that. As of Monday I will join millions of other working mums and begin the daily battle of perfecting the work/life balance. I had grand plans for today, and of course none really came to fruition. I did get my legs and eyebrows waxed and a pedi, all of which were much needed, but it certainly wasnt relaxing.

I dropped the monkeys off at daycare and thankfully only Little Miss cried. She's still getting used to daycare and it's only been a month (once a week) so its all still very new for her. It's really lovely to see Missy Moo comfort her, patting her on the back and saying 'ok baby'. I hate seeing her cry and the worst is when she reaches out for me. Talk about Mum guilt. I know she's ok a few minutes after I'm gone which tells me she's ok, she's just not used to being without me. She didn't sleep much today so it will be interesting to see how she goes overnight.

I came home from there, put a load of washing on, paid a couple of bills and finalised my grocery list. I did have a fleeting thought of how relaxed I was, despite being busy and conscious of getting alot done in limited hours. I also thought how will I do the shopping next week? I frequently thank the dudes above for the invention that is online shopping. Awesome.

I then headed to the shops, I had to get a couple of presents and of course I bought stuff I didn't need. It's an illness I tell ya, like for real. I wondered around Target and checked out the toys. Toys are everywhere! The yearly toy sale starts next week and I like to be organised and get presents put away for xmas, both for my kids and other kids we buy gifts for. When I was pregnant with Monkey Man I heard stories of people queueing up at midnight to go to these toy sales, and women going in gangs with one running the gauntlet, loading the trolley while another got a place in the lay-by queue and honestly, I thought how bloody stupid can you be??!?!? Were these women for real?? Thankfully they have improved the system over the last couple of years and you can take a list to a store and set up a lay-by, or gasp, I believe this year they've gotten really really technical and you can set up a lay-by online? Without entering a store? Halleleujah! Its a modern day miracle! And thats what I'll be doing seeing as I'll be working the day the sale starts. Freaking typical seeing I've been home for a year! Freaking typical that I have bills coming out my waazoo so won't have as much for the sales as I would like. Anyway!

I then got waxed and prettied up toes. I realised too late that I didn't think it through before starting as I'd forgotten to take thongs and was wearing socks and boots - shit! I got my finger nails painted too so of course I then couldn't get said boots on without buggering the nails. I was doing the grocery shopping straight afterwards and tomorrow I begin the mammoth task of packing up my Mums house as she's decided to sell up and down grade. See? I clearly didn't think it through so technically I wasted a manicure AND a pedicure. Bugger... Sometimes my determination gets the better of me but I was bloody determined to do something for me today on CFF - just me.

Even though no one will see my legs, or my toes, its important they look good - for my self esteem, confidence and ego. I've been out of the workforce for a little while now and whilst I am confident I can do the job, it is a new role, a new company and I've been in a very different world for a while now. I returned to work before Little Miss was born but I was literally counting down the days til maternity leave, and with a 5 mth old and a 18mth old my heart and head were still very much in mummy land.
How could I finish this task and leave early to get my kids out of daycare and home with me?
Can I fit a trip to the supermarket in between conference calls?
Could I reschedule that meeting so I could attend mothers day morning tea at daycare?
Dammit, its 11am which means we're missing Peppa Pig.
Who cares if its end of month and there are sales to be counted, Jimmy Giggle is gonna be at my local shops and I wanna meet him *ahem* I mean my kids wanna meet him...
Thats where my head was at. No one minded, they blamed my lack of focus on being a mum and once the cat was out of the bag that I was pregnant (again) well there was more understanding. Don't get me wrong, I did my job but my heart wasn't in it.

To be starting again, to be joining the real world again well its a little daunting. It's a lot exciting though because I can go to the toilet alone. I can eat a meal without sharing, and eat it while its hot. I can have a phone call or ten without being interrupted by 'whos that mummy, where are they, they come to our house, mummy im talking to you'. . .  Yes its the little things making this change very appealing. It's a little overwhelming to think about logistics, eg traffic, drop off, pick up, sick days, just getting out of the house every morning!! I will miss my monkeys and I know they will be ok but I'm just gonna have to give this a go and see how it goes. Don't know til you try right?

My last CFF was nothing special but its been and done so now its time to focus on whats coming. Fingers crossed its this:

chances of that = slim to none??? really??


toddlers on a high

The other day I confessed to bribing my toddlers with a chocolate bunny each.... It bought me 5 mins of quiet, and in fact it bought me the ONLY quiet of the day. Anyway, I knew I would pay for it, and boy did I pay for it....

About fifteen minutes after the chocolate was consumed I had two yoga posing toddlers on my hands:

then I had running toddlers:

who fell down and laughed at themselves:

then the ab crunches started - trust me they dont get this shit from me:

then tackles, ahem, I mean cuddles started:

then some more running:

and thennnnnn they jumped on me:

All of the above was done to hysterical laughter, screeching and very loud talking.... bedtime was a nightmare, and of course I was solo. Bloody chocolate bunnies - still worth the 5 minutes quiet though

Wednesday, 13 June 2012

getting my betty crocker on

As July draws closer, my anxiety and stress levels are getting higher and higher. You see, here in the three under 3 household July marks the beginning of birthday bonanza and I am in serious planning mode. My birthday kicks off the season, Monkey Man is ten days later, Little Miss two weeks later and Missy Moo the following day. Hubby rounds off the season a week after that. Mine and hubbys birthdays dont really mean much these days although we've both agreed to celebrate our 40th birthdays in a few years - his before mine of course, being the old fart that he is.

In true tight arse behaviour, or smart mummy behaviour - depending on which way you look at it - a combined party is in the works. I figure it's all the same friends and family we'd invite to all three parties and I can hardly ask that of them, and most importantly I can't be assed to throw three parties. My kids, chatty and demanding as they are, are not old enough to have proper opinions or know any better re this stuff yet so I am taking full advantage of this for as long as possible. One party it is! Plus I'm stressed enough about one party, so there is NO way in hell I'd be doing three.

We're having a rainbow party theme which is very popular it appears  - just google and you'll see what I mean. The more time I spend online, the more things I find that I want. My 'favourites' folder is bursting at the seams and my head is constantly milling with all sorts of ideas. I keep finding more and more but there's only one problem - I don't have the time, money nor talent to implement most of them. Le sigh. Sadly my kids lucked out in the Betty Crocker department, and this Mummy is a bit of a dud. I'll give it a go, and I'll pull something together but it certainly won't be award winning.

I went into a cake supplies shop today and oh wow, if I was feeling overwhelmed before I was officially freaked out now. It was my first time and I wondered between aisles of fondant and piping tips and cake tins for at least an hour. Everything was so foreign and new to me. Who knew there was 10 different shades of white? Who knew there was 20 different size cupcake/muffin cases? Argh! Talk about confusing! I went in with a clear idea and came out completely confused. I've been thinking about it ever since and finally have sorted my thoughts out, I now have a plan of attack. And I won't be going back to that bloody cake shop anytime soon thats for sure!
I spose as long as my cake is better than this, then we'll be winning:

If I get the all important candle placement right, then I'll be doing better than this Mum did:

I know I can spell, so at least I know I won't do this:

mmmm strawberries!

Wish me luck! I'll be sure to post pics of the finished product, good, bad or otherwise!. . .  I know the kids will love whatever I make, and so long as it tastes good then everyone else will be happy.

Now to find some cash for the 55 million things I've pinned for the party!

Tuesday, 12 June 2012

have a break

My toddlers, Monkey Man (almost 3) and Missy Moo (almost 2) are currently feasting on a chocolate bunny each. Chocolate is a failsafe bribe here and for some reason, it's doubly exciting when said chocolate is in a foil wrapper? I've bought myself 5 minutes of peace and quiet by bribing them with chocolate.

Why have I bribed them, apart from needing a break and some quiet - even if its just for a few minutes? Well you see I'm trying to read a magazine I've had sitting gathering dust for two weeks now. I bought it for one article and said article has since caused alot of controversy so I am doubly curious now - its my equivalent of a chocolate bunny! Every.bloody.time I try to read this magazinge there is a brawl to break up or a toddler on my lap wanting to 'read too' or a child to feed/change/soothe/play with/teach etc. Sometimes these kids really get in the way of what I want to do, you know what I mean?? Kids are SO selfish!

It's mid June and we still have easter eggs here. Surely we can't be the only household with easter eggs 2 months after easter?

Make no mistake, I am fully aware I will pay for this indulgence very shortly. . .  lucky dinner tonight is stir fry and everything is ready to go. I did a load of washing and have tended to kids all day, what more do you want from me?

Saturday, 9 June 2012

where is the green poo?

WARNING: This is all about toilet training so stop reading if you're easily grossed out, or its just not your thing.

We spent the day at home today in an attempt to get this toilet training business under control. Monkey Man was most happy to be in his big boy undies, and the next pair which were required about 15 minutes later. I know it's a learning curve but I am so grateful to have floorboards and not carpet!

There was quite a few undie, socks and pants changes required today, so many I thanked my instinct that I went and bought half a dozen pairs of cheap trackies on Thursday night. Still had to wash the lot though in preparation for tomorrow.

We were playing outside when I smelt something familiar.
I asked him had he done a poo and he said 'no'
I asked again and he said 'NO!'
I asked again and he said 'no but I did a wee'.
I checked and yes he had wet AND poo'd, in a big way.
No big deal, no panic as 'accidents happen'...we went off to sort it out.

As I started cleaning him up I couldn't help but notice it was bright green. What the?? I then remembered at daycare yesterday they made green rice bubble snacks for earth day or something or other, and clearly I was the lucky recipient of the aftermath. There was no way it could be removed discreetly, green mess was everywhere. Monkey Man noticed and started commenting, loudly and clearly 'wow mummy its green', 'mummy look my poo is green', 'its really really reallllly green' between fits of laughter, I cleaned him up and the whole mess, undies included went in the bin.

I was telling a friend about this whole episode and she commented that we live in such a disposable world these days, and how she is fishing poop out of her daughters undies all the time. She thought I should have washed the undies. I've bought him cheap undies that can be thrown away if needed for moments just like these. No characters on them, nothing fancy, just 10 pairs for $6 or something stupid like that. Call me psychic but during the early days of toilet training I forsee lots of poop in the pants and unless its a solid one that can be easily removed and all evidence washed out, then I will be chucking the soiled undies out. Maybe that makes me wasteful but I figure with 3 babies at once, 3 in nappies, and 3 kids to toilet train I will have and will be seeing my fair share of poop for a while yet. . . I reserve the right to chuck out a few pairs of shitty undies. Green or otherwise, if there is messy poop in the pants, the pants are going!

I've had green poop flashbacks all day and will probably never see the book 'Where Is The Green Sheep' the same way again . .  . I'm traumatised by the green poop.

I did contemplate not writing this buuuut if I don't then I'm likely not to remember, although my chances of forgetting green poop are slim to none . . . and the whole reason I started this blog was to remember things about my kids. Maybe one day I can turn this into a book for my kids, and embarrass them and their partners, and their kids - hmmm the possibilities are endless *insert evil laugh here*. What else can I write??

Friday, 8 June 2012

red undies maketh the man

Monkey Man is growing up. I know its inevitable but he's my baby, my first born and will always be my little baby... he's also my only boy so its all special in a different way.

Today he went to daycare in undies. He'll be 3 in 5 weeks so is probably a bit behind in the whole toilet training malarky. I don't mind to be honest, and was determined not to pressure him or rush him. Toilet training, like many parenting topics seems to raise so much debate. Some people have told me he's too old to be in nappies, others have said don't even start til he's 3. Alot have said boys are harder to train than girls, slower rather than harder... me, well I've chosen to listen to him and go from there, when I believe he's ready.

He's been using the toilet at daycare for a while now, maybe 6 weeks, but at home its been pretty hit and miss. He tells me he wants to go but then nothing happens. The last week we've been faced with massive screaming sobbing performances at bathtime when he wants to sit on the loo for an hour rather than have a bath. I think its him feeling and understanding the urge to go and I guess its a pretty foreign feeling. The performances have been pretty trying, and stressful for everyone and we're hoping they don't last much longer. I reached out to some mum friends for advice and as a result, I decided to call time on nappies and move to the toilet. We cuddled on the lounge and spent the afternoon reading 'The Boys Toilet Book' complete with a noisy 'flush' button which was pressed 55 million times. We talked about how it was time for him to be a big boy and wear undies like Daddy, and use the toilet. And today, we put the Monkey Man in undies. He was somewhat proud of himself and strutted into daycare with a big smile. He then told the teachers he had red undies on. Nawwwww.

So how did he do? Monkey Man did good! He had no accidents and came home with only one pair of wet pants, despite me sending him to school with 5 pairs of trousers and 10 pairs of undies - don't ask my logic there? The wet ones happened once he was on the loo as I think he forgot to point the *ahem* persicope down. It's early days but we're making progress and hello, what a great start!

I am so proud of him and just love watching him grow and change. We have our moments, we butt heads, we're both stubborn and determined which makes for interesting times. He screamed at me this evening and got made to sit on the wall. He continued to scream while he sat there and once he got it out of his system he came and said 'sorry for being silly', totally unprompted which was just gorgeous. Hearing him say 'love you mummy' is the best thing ever and takes away any dramas or frustration from earlier. I'm proud of the little man he is becoming, although I am a little sad to see less and less of my little baby when I look at him and I will never forget those giant thighs he had.

How old was your baby when they toilet trained? Was it a difficult process? Were you lucky and have an easy run of it all?

Disclaimer: my baby boy's birthday is rapidly approaching, I'm going back to work, I'm sad and feeling a healthy dose of mother guilt too - please excuse my soppy posts of late . . .  normal posting will resume post hast