Tuesday, 4 December 2012

Christmas at the library

Today we went to Christmas at the library, a free event which I stupidly had high hopes for. I thought they would do craft with the kids, tell stories, hell maybe Santa might appear and all the kids would receive a little something.

Before we entered the library we tackled the post office, with about 50 other people. The queue was out the non-automatic door that I struggled to get my pram and free ranging chicken, I mean toddler, through. No one helped me which was very un-christmas like and I swore under my breath as I pushed the pram over my own toe. We were off to a good start?!?! I pulled Monkey Man's leash (judge me all you want) and he came in kicking and screeching at the top of his lungs, and then went and picked up every bloody thing in reach. Everyone in the queue glared at me as my 3yo touched and picked up everything, pushing buttons that played noises and music on various toys. People started commenting on how I have my hands full and my what a big pram you have. Basically it was like any other outing... Thankfully the queue moved quite fast, we paid for and posted our parcels and I made a mental note to be more organised next year. Yeah right.

A quick donut stop, as promised, happened before we entered the library and once 'we' all got over the fact that no, we cannot have ten donuts each and that one will suffice, everyone stuffed their faces and off we went.

I had hoped that having just been fed there would be no fuss and we could enjoy the event. Instead, Little Miss tantrummed not long after we got in there as I made her get off a seat so an adult could sit down. The very eccentric man running story time (ie camp as a row of tents) actually stopped the story he was telling, glared at me with a patronising smirk and instructed everyone to 'just wait til someone sorts out that child'. Seriously, I wanted to punch him. We were at the back of the room and everyone was actually turned and looking at us?? I felt a rush of red hit my face as I tried to calm her down with a room of 50+ people staring at me. Eventually she forgot what she was crying about and went on her merry way, and thankfully the story continued. Storytime was then interrupted again by Monkey Man going to the front of the room to put his reindeer antlers with another set on a table. When he was told to go and sit down he informed everyone he was 'just putting his reindeer ears up here for a minute'. I laughed to myself and again, everyone stared at us. Both he and Missy Moo kept shoving things into a cardboard box Santa and screeching when they fell to the bottom and thus they couldn't get them out. Little Miss also interrupted story time for her version of baby yoga, ass in the air in a packed room with the biggest smile on her face. Every other child there sat quietly with their parents and listened to story. We were subjected to lame ass christmas carols with the words changed to be more australian eg 'dashing through the sand' WTF and a Santa in a costume that had seen better days. Missy Moo freaked at the site of Santa and hid in my lap. The kids were then told to line up, hello they're all 2-5?? to collect a gift from Santa - a DIY christmas card? I was then told that I couldn't have 3 as each child had to come to Santa themselves!! oh for fcuks sake! I pointed to my two girls in the pram, both looking terrified, and said 'do I really have to bring them over here, really??' at which point camp boss man said 'oh just give her the cards!' with major tude. Dude, you work in a library! Where is your bloody community spirit??

Christmas storytime was lame and not worth the effort of getting there and if we hadn't had books due back today I wouldn't have bothered. Bah bloody humbug! I figured the worst was over though and we could get some books to borrow and head home for nap time. Before I could grab her though, Little Miss climbed onto a lounge and fell down between it and the window. Queue loud screaming, crying and once again, everyone staring at us. No one helped me, they just stared. It was time to go.

Monkey Man depositing something into cardboard Santa

Missy Moo seeing if she can get it out

Meanwhile, Little Miss is doing toddler yoga complete with thigh rolls on display, with her ass in the air. Sigh



  1. are you kidding me! what a shit morning! i hate the post office with a passion in the end i gave up and figured if they are going to make it so difficult for me to keep my children contained and angels by not hiding behind displays and going through all the impluse purchase stuff they block my way with then i dont mind if they roam and look at whatever they like. long as we dont leave with anything they can look at go through everything.

    As for the library. well you could have clapped him for being so successful in his career choice.

    Mate - nap time go have a quiet cup of coffee and start the day again. xx

  2. You are awesome. I have 3 under three also and I feel for you. I would make my mom watch at least 1 of them before trying to do anything like that. I wish I had your energy and patience. Good job!


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