Monday, 14 January 2013

you'll live by my rules while living under my roof

Have you ever had a moment where you experienced flashbacks and a glimpse of the future, all at the same time???

For those playing along you'll know that my Mum is living with us at the moment. It's been a *while* and there is, so far, no end in sight. Let's just not go there, ok?

Saturday night and hubby and I had a quiet night at home. We made dinner, we constructed a toy kitchen for our monkeys that we've been promising to do since Santa delivered it on xmas eve - bad parents hey! and we caught up on a couple of shows we recorded and haven't had a chance to watch. Life just gets in the way sometimes.

Mum is usually home, either from work or her new place at about 7-7.30 and eats with us. When we made dinner last night we put hers aside as she hadn't appeared by the time it was ready. I had a fleeting thought to call and check on her as she was expecting a tradesmen at 6pm. Too many episodes of SVU I suspect, so I pushed that dark scary thought to the back of my mind and got on with our night. I expected her any minute though so left her dinner out. We assembled the kids kitchen, swearing alot at each other during the process and re-settled the monkeys a few times as the heat and barking neighbourhood dogs disturbed them. It was 11pm by the time we finished and there was still no sign of her so I put her dinner in the fridge. I then started thinking she must have gone out with friends and forgotten to mention her plans. And it was about now that I started feeling annoyed. Really annoyed.

I had flashbacks of my late teens and early twenties when I lived at home and she used to say to me "I don't care if you're not home for dinner but let me know what you're doing so I can either keep dinner for you or not worry about yours".... oh how I used to hate checking in and explaining what I was doing, with who and where but I did as I was told. To be honest, if I didn't call before, I would be in the dog house for days and have to put up with one of her filthy moods. It was just easier to call and cop the inquisition beforehand.

A few times in the last few weeks she has not come home for dinner, or at least been home later for dinner. I've said nothing about it, she's a grown up, as am I and I figure she doesn't have to explain her whereabouts to me. In the same respect though, I am annoyed by this whole thing. I mean, if it was necessary for me to check in while living in her house and under her rules, why doesn't the same rule apply to her? This is my house and I too would love to know if she'll be here for dinner. I would happily cook a chilli or a curry on the nights she's not here as she doesn't eat hot foods so at the moment, I'm just not making any of those meals. I would love to get a little excited at the thought of having dinner just hubby and I . . .I mean, it's the little things right? The little things that make you smile and take away the pain of a crappy stressful day.

In between flashbacks to my teens and 20's, I couldn't help but see my future. I have 3 children. I will be in teenage hell for multiple years. I'll wonder when my adolescents will be coming home, if they'll be coming home, who they're with, what they're doing?? I'll be having this same chat with all 3 of my kids, won't I? I'll be saying things like:

"let me know if you're home for dinner"
"call me if you can't get home, irrelevant of the time"
"don't get into a car with anyone if you think they've been drinking or taking anything"
"don't accept a drink (or anything else!!) from strangers"
"don't leave your drinks unattended"
"if you think you're going to school/out dressed like that, you can forget it"
"that's not a skirt, its a belt"
"whose house are you going to, will there be any adults there?"
"do I know these people you're hanging* out with?" *or whatever the term at the time is??

I've come to the conclusion this is some kind of preparation for when my kids hit this stage. Or perhaps some kind of payback karma for the times I said I'd be home for dinner and then was too drunk/distracted/busy having a good time (or all of the above) to actually come home for dinner? Some kind of revenge for lying to my mother all those years ago? bah! I'm over it! I'm not enjoying sharing my space, I'm not enjoying having another person to care for and clean up after. Over it I tell ya! I'll be sure to update you when she does eventually move out. Don't hold your breath though.



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