Thursday, 1 December 2011

a picture perfect christmas

I love christmas. I love decorating the tree, I love listening to carols and christmas inspired music, I love presents under the tree, wrapped prettily. I love to take the time to find wrapping paper and cards that don't have the word 'Merry' or snow on them, not a fan of either. I start thinking about gifts for my children way before I should. I love to spend christmas eve wrapping presents while watching Carols in the Domain. I hope to instill some traditions in my kids, and am already planning some for next year when they're a bit older. I love to buy them new PJs for christmas eve, and pretty outfits for Santa photos, christmas and boxing day and any other days we go to christmas type events.

The trouble is, I have a picture in my head of how Christmas is going to be and have done so ever since I became a Mum. The perfect tree, decorated by well behaved children who giggle and squeal with delight when certain decorations are pulled from the storage box. We nibble on home made delights while doing this task, photos are being taken, carols are playing and everyone looks perfect, clean and tidy and super cute. My house is spotless in the background of these photos and the kids talk about how much fun they had putting the tree up. All very hollywood movie, minus the snow.

My reality is however, very different. The tree went up with the assistance of two bounding, bouncing toddlers. They kept handing us stem after stem and it was an effort to keep up with them. Tinsel was strewn everywhere, wrapped around ankles and necks, baubles bounced across the room, glass ones put back in storage for another year, fights broke out because that silver bauble is different to my silver bauble. This was really just the beginning. I had to vaccuum the tree spot we created once we moved the furniture to its new temporary home. I couldn't get the blind back down after I raised it to vaccuum the window sil. I had to vaccuum again around the tree once it was upright as it's molting leaves. Might need a new one next year? Both kids were almost buried alive under the 6' tree at least twice, and this was before it was actually 6'. The kids didn't understand the whole 'hang the decoration' concept and kept shoving baubles and stars into the branches of the tree, and getting most distressed when they fell to the floor. Missy Moo sat and licked glitter off a star, and I'm still seeing glitter in her poo nearly 5 days later. Monkey Man wanted to be lifted to the top of the tree to shove more decorations in, and watch them bounce to the floor... 16kg weightlifting anyone? Once I'd put a bauble on the tree, one or both kids would then pull it off. We didn't nibble on home made delights, nor was there any music apart from the Thomas The Tank Engine theme music playing over and over as the 4 hour DVD had finished in the other room. There was no photos as I was either erecting the tree, decorating it or wrangling a toddler or two, or all of the above. Hubby gave up about 5 minutes into the process and decided to clean the garage at that exact time?? Little Miss sat in the bumbo and watched this comedic performance and smiled like mad, and then promptly threw up all over herself.

My beautiful tree is imprisoned behind a playpen to protect the kids from further glitter ingestion or pulling the tree down on top of themselves. Nothing whatsoever to do with protecting the tree from the kids, no not at all.

Was it picture perfect? Far from it, in fact it was slightly stressful at times. Will I always remember it? Abso-fcukin-lutely!!

It took some searching but I think I've found outfits for all 3 kids for the different days they need them. I'm still terrified to take them for Santa photos but screaming or not, there will be a Santa photo! Christmas here won't be picture perfect by a long shot, but we will enjoy the company of family and friends, a few presents, good food and a few drinks. My first in 3 years where I can eat, drink and be merry instead of early stages of pregnancy and battling with heat and food and drink I can't eat. I will wrap presents on christmas eve, and enjoy it. And I will count my blessings that this year means two toddlers to manage, next year there will be 3 to wrestle baubles from and cage out of my tree!! Remind me of this when they're causing havoc and I'm tearing my hair out. Next year will be 'interesting'.


  1. Next year is when it will start to get picture perfect! Monkey Man will be starting to "get" it and Missy Moo will follow his lead, then each year just gets better and better! LOVE Christmas!! :D


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