Thursday, 27 October 2011

afternoon delight

Tonight's bathtime was a shocker and considering how tired I am already, well bed with no dinner is an appealing option right now. Little Miss was screaming and carrying on from about 4.30 onwards. No matter what I try, she just doesn't seem to want to sleep in the late afternoon. I shouldn't complain as come 6.30pm she goes down without a fuss, and if she was happy to be awake all afternoon it would be fine. However she screams blue murder as she's clearly tired, this in turn sets Missy Moo off who's a rather sensitive soul and then Monkey Man joins in because he's upset that the girls are sad, or he just wants to cry louder than they can or just wants to join in? whatever the reason, I seriously dislike late afternoons here!

So all 3 are crying in unison or taking turns for more than an hour. Dinner is a battle with the toddlers at the best of times, tonights choice of 2 min noodles is being flung everywhere while I yell at them to stop it and bounce Little Miss in the vibrating chair, in an effort to quieten her down. Oh what my neighbours must think. Leaving a sea of noodles and toys everywhere we head upstairs for bath and bed. Little Miss is still carrying on. Monkey Man and Missy Moo are running and slamming themselves into the mirrored wardrobe doors and there is tears just as I say 'one of you is going to get hurt if you carry on doing that'. Manage to get all 3 in the bath and things quieten down. I'm feeling quiet proud of myself for not having a nervous breakdown yet and telling myself over and over that there's 45 mins til bedtime, all will be ok...  Get Little Miss out, she starts crying again as she's so tired by this stage she's bordering on hysterical. Missy Moo is standing in the bath AGAIN and I'm telling her to sit down AGAIN - this happens every bathtime and usually multiple times. We have a inflatable bumper around the bath to prevent injury but still, its slippery in there and I'm always worried they will hurt themsleves. I tell her to sit down for what felt like the 55th time and bang, she slips over and smacks her chin on the side of the bath - missing the bumper altogether. She's screaming, Little Miss who's naked on the change table is screaming and I'm telling Missy Moo that she's ok. I saw her hit the bath and assumed she was crying more out of shock than injury as she didn't hit that hard.. After wrapping Little Miss up in a towel to try and calm her down for a minute, I turn around to actually look at Missy Moo who's still screaming and blood is pouring down her chin. Yay me! Mother of the year!! I think she's bitten the inside of her mouth when she's connected with the bath. Nothing major but a fair amount of blood. Bundle her into a towel, give her a (magic) dummy and lay her in the vibrating chair so I can dress Little Miss. Swap them over and get Missy Moo dressed, and then argue with Monkey Man about getting out of the bath. Give him 3 chances to get out now or else wait til I've given Little Miss her bottle and put her to bed, he ignores me so he stays in the bath. Head to the bedroom next to the bathroom, start feeding Little Miss, telling Missy Moo to come out of the bathroom over and over again - she slips over in there, cries and yet goes back for more, nearly every bloody night. Monkey Man is chatting away to himself in the bath, occasionally telling me about number 5 or the colour blue or Thomas and Percy - he's 2 remember!! Little Miss is almost finished her bottle, Missy Moo is sitting by my feet drinking her milk and staring at herself in the mirror. All is calm, and bedtime is oh so close, I can taste it!!

Then I hear a cute little voice from the bathroom say the following:
'there goes poo'
'poo is running away'
'come back poo'
'oh no'

my heart stops

"Monkey, did you poo in the bath?"
'yes mummy' and promptly starts to cry (I think he was sad his poo was uncatchable?!?!)

oh shit!! leap to my feet and rush into the bathroom. The floor is soaking thanks to Monkey Man's games, Missy Moo slips over straight away and is screaming, Little Miss is screaming in the vibrating chair as I cut her feed off before she was ready and she hasn't been burped. Seriously. Kill.Me.Now!!

There's too much poo to scoop out so I pull the plug after depositing Missy Moo back outside the bathroom, on the carpet where she can't slip over but is crying anyway. Haul Monkey Man out of the poo filled bath and order him to stand still so I can dry the floor with a towel before anyone else slips over. Hose the poo down the plug hole while rocking the vibrating chair in an effort to quieten Little Miss down. Dress Monkey Man who's telling me all about his poo, meanwhile Missy Moo is emptying the change table contents onto the bathroom floor. Quickly burp Little Miss and pop her into bed. Come back to my room to toys strewn from one end of the other and watch, almost in slow motion as a giant Thomas train gets launched straight at Missy Moo's head. More screaming from both of them (again, my poor neighbours). I've had it now, its bedtime anyway but they're going whether they like it or not. All 3 in bed by 6.50pm and holy crap, if I wasn't tired before, I'm totally exhausted now...

Tell me others have it this bad??


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