Wednesday, 18 April 2012

the f word

It's been coming for a while, really it has and truly I am just surprised it hasn't been said before today. Monkey Man dropped the F word today, twice. I tend to swear a bit alot, my hubby isnt adverse to dropping a few words here and there, so really it was only a matter of time. Until now, the worst I've heard Monkey Man say was 'bloody' as in:
Daycare teacher: Hi E, how was your christmas?
Monkey Man: she's a bloody baby
To put it in context, it had been a fairly stressful morning trying to get all 3 out the door. I needed to drop the big two at daycare on a Toddler Free Friday and no one would eat breakfast or get dressed or have their nappy changed when I wanted them to, and Little Miss seemed to just want to scream the house down. As you do when you're a few weeks old. I do remember muttering 'bloody kids' under my breath as I slammed the microwave door. I also remember making a conscious effort not to swear massively as I was worried about Monkey Man copying me. That was months ago, and whilst he copys alot of what I say, he's never sworn. Until today.

As I ran a bath for the kids tonight all 3 were sitting on the carpet in the hallway outside the bathroom. Monkey Man was talking to Little Miss, telling her he was squashing bugs and chasing monsters, as you do. I was smiling to myself watching this conversation and feeling so proud of my kids when I heard him say 'something and something (inaudible) and then fcuken bug'. I asked him what he said and he went on and on about squashing bugs that I wondered if I'd heard things. Was I imagining it? A few minutes later he was still squashing bugs, now with associated actions being demonstrated on the tiles, and he looked up and me and muttered something about 'a fcuken baby'. Now that, that was clear and I didn't imagine that. I asked him what he said and he looked me straight in the eye, put on the cheekiest grin and said it again, clear as day. Oh shit! I tried and tried so hard to compose myself, I tried to force a straight face and say we don't say those things but all I could do was laugh. Mother of the year right here!! I won't be winning any academy awards anytime soon. Oh dear gawd, this could get rather embarrassing.

Note to self:
  • I must stop swearing in front of the kids
  • I should perhaps learn how to swear in another language so I can still swear but they won't know what I'm saying?
  • I have to develop a poker face so as not to laugh and encourage such vulgar behaviour from my children
  • I must find out which filthy person taught my innocent almost 3 yo such disgusting language!
  • I must stop swearing, really I must
Have your kids dropped the f-bomb? When and where? How do you deal with it?



  1. The hub swears in spanish... Hudson seems to have picked up a couple. But because not many people can understand what he's saying, he seems to ignore it. Me on the other hand? I know when he's calling his sister a mother---ker. :/ Drives me up the wall.

  2. oooh Spanish, there's a good idea!! hahahaha to calling his sister a mothertrucker!


Share your thoughts, I'd love to hear them