Friday, 20 April 2012

whats in a name

Today a beautiful baby boy was safely born into the world, he made two people parents for the second time and a little boy became a big brother. The announcement came early this afternoon and I was thrilled to hear the news. My friend moved interstate a while back, so I've watched her pregnancy journey from afar....seen lots of comments and frustrations about ignorant people on trains not getting up for pregnant women, counting down to the last day of work, and a excited message last night about a final dinner for two before baby arrives. It's all been so exciting but feels like the pregnancy has gone forever, as it always does when its not yours. The little boy was given the name Owen which holds a special place in my heart. Almost 3 years ago a dear friend of mine had a baby boy, Owen Edward. He was the most beautiful, perfect baby boy, so wanted and so loved. He was sadly stillborn. I will never ever forget hearing the news of his arrival and passing while I cradled my newborn Monkey Man. I cried and cried, I imagined it was my baby taken so early, I imagined their pain, I felt guilty that I'd been whinging about sleep deprivation and how much he cried when I'm sure Owen's parents wished for just that. I held my baby and just sobbed for the longest time. My husband cried too, we were just devastated to hear of such a tragedy. The name Owen reminds me of such a precious angel and I think it always will. So today when I heard of another baby being called Owen I was so thrilled that I cried. I was sitting in a take away place having some lunch and feeding Little Miss, catching up on my facebook and when I saw the announcement I cried. I've been teary all day, everything has set me off from a trashy soap on TV, hearing my Little Miss crying and realising I left her monitor off, and as I got ready to collect my monkeys from daycare, I got teary again as I thought how excited they always are to see me. Everything upset me today.

Another friend lost her precious baby boy a few months ago, and in a few weeks her due date will be here. She should be getting ready to have her baby but instead she's already birthed him and attended his funeral. He was named Lachlan James, and his parents miss him everyday. Friends of theirs had a baby boy a few weeks ago and they too named their baby Lachlan James. I know no one person owns a name but I'm sorry, talk about insensitive. Surely there are other names they could have chosen? I don't know the reasons behind their choice but for me, it was the wrong thing to do.

Mid April was a year since precious Stella became sick and was diagnosed with a horrible illness. She then passed away in December and her family was devastated to lose their beautiful star, her story touched so many people who were devastated also. I hugged my babies tightly that day and for weeks afterwards I got very teary at the mere mention of her name.

For me, the name Owen will always be the angel baby who should be turning 3 in August this year. He will always be the baby missing from my mothers group. Like Lachlan and Stella, Owen will forever be the child missing from a loving family, a gravesite visited on birthdays and christmas and other special occasions. No family, no person should have to go through that. No parent should outlive their child.

Whats in a name? Some names, not alot. Others mean something to you that no one else can ever understand. Whatever the name, the meaning is special and personal to someone and more often than not, no one else will ever understand that meaning. Sometimes the mere mention of a name can have you rolling in laughter, or crying your eyes out. Whats in a name? Usually, a damn lot.



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